Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.
At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?
Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.
To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.
Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
“Uproariously witty, deliciously provocative, and just plain fun! No one delivers side-splitting humor and mouth-watering sensuality like Robyn Peterman. This is entertainment at its absolute finest!” ~ Darynda Jones, NY Times Bestselling Author of the Charley Davidson Series
You can buy Fashionably Dead HERE!
Astrid had a normal life and she liked it. She had a best friend and a decent job teaching art to senoirs. Her mother is hellish, but she is used to it. The only thing she wants to do is quit smoking without gaining weight and own lots of Prada. She decides that going to a strip mall hypnotist to quit smoking is a good idea and that's when things started getting complicated.
You've heard the term waking up dead? Well Astrid really did. when she woke from her hypnotherapy session, she was dead, well, undead to be exact. She had been turned into a vampyre and was now part of the glamorous but dangerous world of vampyres. She trained with the help of her guardian angel and fairy friend to become a great fighter because rumor had it she was the chosen one. Well how's that for pressure? Now she has to figure out how to save the vampyre king and deal with the prince who sort of half married her without her consent. Can she survive this crazy vampyre lifestyle? She's doubtful, but all the Prada they lavish on her certainly helps!
This book was very funny and entertaining. The characters will keep you laughing and the sticky situations will keep you on your toes. Honestly there were parts that made my head spin because so many revelations came to light all at the same time, but that only slightly detracted from the amazing story. This is definitely one of my favorite vampire worlds. They just wanted to live - um, exist, peacefully and they were not out for blood. They actually hunted down rogue vamps that killed humans for sport. Theirs was a glamorous world I wouldn't mind waking up in.
Especially if I could catch the attention of the gorgeous prince the way Astrid did.
I enjoyed reading this book and flew through it quickly! I'd give it 5 stars and would definitely recommend it to the vampire lovers out there!!
The woman is hilarious! Check this out!
Hi Robyn! I'm so excited that you agreed to do an interview for my blog! I tried to be creative with my questions and I hope you had fun with them.
So..... porno writing grannies?
**Yes. I figured porno writing grannies sounded better than porno writing grandpas or porno writing soccer moms. Although the soccer mom thing could work......
Tell us something about Pirate Dave that no one knows.
**Pirate Dave can’t swim. BUT, because he is a time traveling vampire warlock this does not present too many problems.
Is Pirate Dave single? Can I get his number?
**He’s in an open relationship with the conjoined twins, Laverne and Shirley. He’s such a randy bastard that I am sure he would give you his number.
In what fictional world would you live?
**Wait...are you saying I don’t live in one now?
Who is your book boyfriend? And your book BFF?
**My book boyfriend is Ethan from FASHIONABLY DEAD. I’ve got a thing for the undead. Their staying power is supposed to be tremendous. My book BFF is Rena from HOW HARD CAN IT BE? She is my kind of crazy!!!
If you found a magic lamp with a genie that gave you 3 wishes, what would they be?
**1. A self cleaning house. 2. No need to sleep ever again. 3. A self cleaning house.
How many different names for genitalia have you come up with? Can you tell us some of your favorites?
** I have come up with 468,922 and a half terms for genitalia. My favorite (by far) is Porksword. It’s a lovely word, very descriptive and can stop polite conversation dead in it’s tracks.
And now a few of the run of the mill boring questions:
Who is your favorite author? Why?
**I adore a ton of authors. Some of my paranormal fav’s are Darynda Jones, Jeannine Frost, Thea Harrison and JR Ward. They are brilliant writers and I’m addicted!
Why did you become a writer?
**Because there are so many people running around in my head that I had no choice. It was either write or be institutionalized.
What are you working on next? Any chance we could get a little peek?
**I just had a book come out called Fashionably Dead. It’s a snarky, sexy, funny paranormal. And my next contemporary called Size Matters (also snarky, funny and sexy) comes out December 19th.
Here are the links to those books!!
Fashionably Dead (book 1 of the Hot Damned Series)
Size Matters (book 2 in the Handcuffs and Happily Ever After series)
If you’d like to read excerpts from all of my books, check out my website!
About Robyn Peterman
Robyn Peterman writes because the people inside her head won't leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. Her addictions include laughing really hard with friends, shoes (the expensive kind), Target, Coke with extra ice in a styrofoam cup, bejeweled reading glasses, her kids, her super-hot hubby and collecting stray animals. A former professional actress with Broadway, film and T.V. credits, she now lives in the south with her family and too many animals to count.
Writing gives her peace and makes her whole, plus having a job where she can work in her underpants really appeals to her. You can check out Robyn's website at robynpeterman.com and also follow her on Twitter and Facebook. She loves to hear from her fans.
Cyber stalk her (she likes it!)
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Robyn-Peterman/e/B00A7D7DPA/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Check out her other books too!
Now win a copy of Fashionably Dead!!